Cry Baby! Cry Baby!

According to Dictionary.com, a crybaby is "a person, especially a child, who cries readily for very little reason" or, "a person who complains too much, usually in a whining manner." Some synonyms for the term are: bellyacher, complainer, critic, faultfinder, griper, grumbler, moaner, sissy, softy, whiner, wimp, wuss.



I remember all-too-well my elementary school years. One of the jabs at certain of my classmates was, "You are such a crybaby." The little girls would sing, "Crybaby, crybaby...so-and-so's a crybaby." And like clockwork, so-and-so would...well...cry. Perhaps the children of which they spoke were not crybabies at all. Maybe the constant teasing and being ostracized made them cry. 



When you hear an infant cry, do you think, "crybaby?" I have heard all sorts of philosophies about when or if one should respond to infant crying by swooping in to the rescue. I will not address that issue here. I will, however, in a coming entry titled, "You Got to Know When to Hold 'Em." Stay tuned... I need to go on record to say that infants, that is, children younger than two years of age, are naturally wired to cry. One of the reasons is because this is their way of communicating. Very young infants are not able to say, "I gotta go potty" or "Father, I think I would like to be held. Would you oblige my request?" So, what do they do? Cry! Our little Josiah uses his crying very judiciously. He cries when he is hungry, sleepy and not able to get comfortable, infrequently has colic, or...did I say is HUNGRY? Simone and I took the concept of prenatal influence very seriously. Those treacherous nine months of her pregnancy were challenging, to say the least, but we worked and prayed hard to manage her negative stress and general comfort. The results of this, along with the positive attitude we have chosen for our household postpartum, have garnered many rewards in Josiah's disposition. Indeed, we will experience many occasions for pain, disappointments, frustration, fear, more hunger, etc. In those cases I say, "Cry baby! Cry baby!" 

I think parents waste too much time stifling appropriate occasions for children's emoting. Some choose to threaten and censure crying babies instead of attending to and nurturing them. It is true that, as children grow, there are increasing instances of melodrama. However, it is in parent's best interest to nurture and appropriately console crying children. In the long-run, they will know that they are loved and will learn to cope with difficulties in appropriate ways. There is an obvious difference between tears and tantrums.


I have intentionally oversimplified this issue to resist the urge to turn this entry into a DSM. Infants cry. Get over it! 

CONtractions

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, it was not until the late 1900s that the term, "contraction" was used in reference to the uterus in childbirth. Every mother can attest that when those contractions got closer-and-closer together before their babies made their grand appearance, it seemed that time stood still as each minute ticked by. And then, when it seemed mommy could not take another moment of waiting, the beautiful child, all slimy from his or her home en utero, came forth to make happy the home that was awaiting. I can attest to the fact that our  lives are much more fulfilling, because Josiah is here.

Being a new SAHD who resigned my almost 11 year position in higher ed., because it was our most practical option to care for Josiah in the home, I am becoming more familiar with an earlier use of the term, "contraction." Again, according the the Online Etymology Dictionary, this word was used to describe the act of making a contract in the late 14th century. I was blessed to work on a contract basis for a period of time following my resignation. Initially, the terms and rate of pay were unacceptable to me. I wondered whether the organization with whom I would prospectively contract, understood their need and my expertise. I wondered whether it was a test of my willingness to jump at just anything, because of our desperate financial circumstance. You see, choosing to have a parent in the home to care for a child instead of daycare, is a huge financial paradigm shift. It forces families to make real changes that are almost always difficult. Indeed, there are families in which one or the other spouse makes so much money that a resignation of employment by one is of no real consequence. Such is not the case in our home, but we're getting through it. When I refused the first contract terms, we negotiated a better rate of pay, which was nowhere near my value for the particular tasks assigned. But, there are people with whom I have worked in the past who needed my help and I felt personally responsible to them. Besides, it would not kill me to accept a contract that was not up-to-par. After all, we did need the money. At least, the turn around times built into the contract made it possible for me to spend quality time with Josiah, and get my work done too.

This brings me to my next point: You will notice that I capitalized the prefix, "Con" in my title. Definition number three in the same online dictionary, states that the verb, "to con" means to swindle. Hiring workers on a contract basis should not be an opportunity to get the best quality work/expertise for the absolute least amount of money someone is willing to accept. That's just not right. Even in desperate times and circumstances, contract workers can attest, that the terms should be respectful and fair. Obviously, there are many that are not stay-at-home parents who negotiate work contracts frequently, but I am particularly sensitive to the needs of SAHDs for obvious reasons. I would like to encourage you to remain committed to the care of your child(ren). Do not allow the financial realities force you to compromise the principles your family has chosen for childcare in the home. The road will be difficult and even scary at times, but God will help, if you ask. I implore those in position to write fair contracts, to do just that...write fair contracts. I am well aware that corporate budgets are tight. I am also aware that companies and organizations mysteriously find money to fund that which they deem important. So please, be honest and fair when you negotiate contracts. It is in your hands to help communicate a worker's value in a tangible way. You never know. You might find yourself in a similar situation one day.

Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You, Unless...

If you have been following this blog or have read my books/articles, you know that I am a fan of double entendres and homophones. You may read my blog entry titles and realize having read the entry, that I exploited a pun or reworked a familiar adage. Today's entry is no different.

Our little Josiah, like most other children four plus months of age, has decided that exploring his environment by reading articles, going on expeditions, or watching documentaries simply will not suffice. Oh no! He is compelled to focus his attention on the object of interest, and with the all-too-predictable dilation of his pupils signifying his utter anticipation and glee, he reaches out is saliva moistened hand and tries to shove it into his mouth. Yes, our son is gifted. He cannot walk, read, eat tofu, or speak intelligibly yet, but he can get all kinds of random stuff into his salivating, gum-exposed face with pin-point precision. This is why, we keep close watch when there is anything at all, anywhere remote to his grasp. And he has fun with it. It's almost like he is a prowler of prey who crouches quietly, moving toward his victim until...bang! in a loud, guttural shout of triumph, he attempts to devour his next victim. His prior victims have included: hand towels, stuffed animals, pacifiers, parent's shoulders, etc. But the prize, at least in his eyes is...yep: our hands.

You have heard the admonition, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." It means that we must be careful not to offend the one who makes provision for us. Josiah has reworked the meaning of this proverb. You see, he thinks it is a gesture of love and acceptance to grasp his parent's hands, pull them close to his little chest, drag them up to his mouth, and attempt to gum them do death as he giggles until he pukes. That is love, my friends. I guess he figures he won't bite the hand that feeds him...unless he really loves the ones to whom the hand belongs. Now, I am not trying to start a new trend here. It is absolutely NOT cool to go around pouncing upon loved one's hands and shoving them into our mouths--unless we are only a few months old, that is. Can you say, "Non-toxic, alcohol-free hand sanitizer?"