If the Shoe Don’t Fit, Please Take it Off

My wife Simone and I have this running joke. OK, I have a running joke related to women’s shoes. There have been several occasions where she and I have gone to the women’s shoe department at Nordstroms together. I don’t know why my eyes are always cast down toward the floor, but without fail I find myself looking at most of the shoes and feet that pass my way. And without fail, there are scores of women who must have bypassed the shoe fit guide, because the stylish shoes they have chosen are simply too small for their feet. The joke Simone and I have is that I always ask her permission to apply for a shoe sales job in a department store to release these poor souls (or soles) from the bondage of the too small shoe. It seems ridiculous that they choose to have their toes grasping for dear life on the outer edges of the opened-toed sandals. I am equally mystified by the blood starved heels that hang one half inch or more over the backs of shoes with open backs. Let’s not even mention those who choose to stuff their poor doggies into fully enclosed shoes and end up walking like Fred Sanford. I mean no harm. I just wish that there were a referendum on some ballot somewhere that proposed the outlaw of too small shoes. Maybe it’s just me. I assure you that I am not just picking on women who have chosen this miserable way of choosing shoes. I have their best interest at heart. So, if you are a woman or you know a woman who has a too small shoe problem, for the sake of the larger society, please help her. Lovingly tell her, “If the shoe don’t fit, PLEASE take it off.”

You may be wondering what in the world my too small shoe rant has to do with fathering. Well I am glad you asked. It may be that there are those who will read various entries of my blog and find some of the generalizations offensive - you know - like too small shoes. Those dear ones may take issue with some of the points I raise. You may even find yourself wondering if I have somehow been a voyeur into your home and taken what I saw out of context. The reality is that there are many mothers, fathers, and others who fit the description of most anything a writer can dream up, no matter how ridiculous. I have no intention of fabricating issues to make a point, but it may seem so to you. So, I think it would be well if indeed you encounter a scenario that is not applicable and the shoe does not fit, that you take it off. There’s no need of forcing your subjective toes into my literary shoes and then getting upset because your intellectual feet hurt. For the sake of the larger society, I lovingly beg you, if this blog’s shoe don’t fit, PLEASE take it off.


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